Saturday, 12 September 2020

A Letter to my 20 Year Old Self

Dear 20-year-old Purba,

Today, I remembered you the way one remembers a favorite novel read long back or a favorite movie watched long back. I felt like reliving your life and the world around you the way one feels like watching every scene of a favorite movie again.

You simply refused to go away from my mind despite the deadlines beckoning me every fifteen minutes. I remembered the hopeless romantic, the crazy dreamer, the kind soul, the aspiring writer and singer so much in love with life. You inspire me, girl!

When I feel I am becoming a cynic, you teach me to love deeply, be ridiculously kind, and forgive others. When life seems mundane, you teach me to become a hopeless romantic once again. Every goal that I set and achieve, the inspiration has to be the crazy dreamer that you are. 

Today, I long to have a long chat with you because no one can understand me perhaps better than you. Honestly speaking, I feel too tired today with all the bitterness and hatred lurking all around, especially in social media. It is challenging to be positive when you are surrounded by negativity all around. 

Twitter/Facebook were once such fun places to be.  Strangers became close friends and now, friends become strangers and strangers can give you threats if your ideologies/opinions don't match with theirs. It is like walking on eggshells every single minute. 

Today, we are battling a pandemic where our country is registering nearly 1 lakh cases daily but I realize that the venom-like hatred in hearts is such a bigger pandemic than the Corona Virus. It is more contagious and deadly. 

I long to spend some quality time with you today. Together, let's listen to some Bollywood retro songs, ghazals, and 90s pop songs. 

I know you will teach me to see how far I have come and how much I can go ahead. You will remind me that although the outer world is not in our control, our inner world is. I know you will fill my heart with love, light, gratitude, and magic. You will teach me to spread my wings and fly in the sky of love, dropping every ounce of negativity. You will teach me again how to sing amid chaos and dance amid storms. 

30-year-old Purba