Life, a wonderful enigma for some
A constant struggle for some others
A labyrinth that can suffocate,
Rob away all your dreams
Only if you let it happen…
Rekindle your heart with hope
Believe in miracles again
You say, it’s too hard
Well, witness a dawn
After a thunderous black night
Miracles happen every day!
Someone very dear to me had committed suicide a year back and I am still trying to cope up with the loss. I know the insufferable anguish, the stinging torture and the acerbic memories that she might have faced before opting for suicide.
After some time, a person who is suffering a lot cannot take it anymore and decides that only death can bring him or her ultimate peace. But no…the soul cannot rest in peace when it is mercilessly separated by the body through suicide. Suicide is never a solution. The only solution is fighting with the problem with courage and fueling the heart with hope.
Recently, I read a book “The Story of a Suicide” written by Sriram Ayer online. The entire book is available on the website http://www.storyofasuicide.com/ . At first, I was skeptical if I can read an entire book online as I have never read a book online. Either I opt for paperbacks or I read in my Kindle device.
However, I did not have any problem in reading the book online. It was a fast and easy read. The website is designed in such a way that you can easily move from one chapter to another. The chapters of the book are accompanied by beautiful illustrations by Ghana that makes the reading experience amazing. The audio book is also available on the website.
It tells the story of four characters: Hari, Sam, Charu and Mani, whose lives are entangled in a web of love, revenge and deceit. The story begins with a suicide note that really disturbs you. It is not revealed to the readers who wrote the note. You need to read the entire book to find it out.
“I am sad. I am tired. Helpless. Disillusioned. Paranoid. Unhappy.”
“Perhaps I am destined to be unhappy and unloved.”
These are a few lines of the suicide note. It was heart wrenching to read the note which clearly portrayed the feelings of a person who gave up on life. I was keen to know what the story of this suicide is all about and so I kept reading the book.
The four main characters
The readers are introduced to the four pivotal characters of the book one by one. At first, Hari is introduced whom we see attending a national seminar on the rights of sexual minorities. His father is preparing a special dish for him at home as he will be going to KIT, Madras for his studies. Hari comes across as a docile, confused and shy person. As the story unfolds, we learn that Hari was a victim of child sexual abuse.
Next, we are introduced to Sam, a self-proclaimed tech geek who is also preparing to leave for KIT, Madras. We see him taking his girlfriend, Priya to a comedy show. Sam is constantly on twitter and Priya seems disinterested in the comedy show. After a while, Priya breaks up with him and leave. Sam is hurt at the sudden breakup, but also angry on Priya. He writes an insulting letter to Priya in his blog. Sam comes across as a self-absorbed, assertive person with a huge ego that can be wounded easily.
When Sam reaches KIT, he gets to know that a guy has tried to commit suicide. A girl is trying desperately to save him. Sam helps the girl and save the unfortunate boy’s life by taking him to the hospital on time. We get to know that the guy who tried committing suicide is Mani and the girl who was trying to save him was Charu, Mani’s best friend.
We learn that Mani committed suicide because he was unable to cope up with English as he has studied all his school in his mother tongue. Mani comes across as a sensible and quiet person who has seen a lot of pain in life. As the story unfolds, we get to learn about the suffering that he had faced all his life because of poverty and an evil father. Later, he befriends Hari, who helps him in English.
Charu on the other hand, is a very confident, cheerful and strong girl. She is so beautiful that Sam gets attracted to her immediately. However, as the story unfolds, she comes across as a very complicated girl with frequent mood swings. We can also see her fighting some inner battles due to a broken childhood. She sees weird dreams that disturb her. She is brave and a hardcore feminist. She is also vulnerable and longs for someone who will love her, without trying to control her.
What I liked in the story
Without giving away any spoilers, I would say that “The Story of a Suicide” is a book that must be read by every youngster. The story shows the demons and painful memories that we all have to face in our lives. No one’s life is devoid of problems, but how you handle your problems make you a winner.
The book talks about serious subjects such as child sexual abuse, homosexuality, suicide, exam pressure, complicated relationships, cyber crime, etc. In this book, all the four characters are dealing with a problem that seems to overwhelm them at times. We can see Sam walking towards the abyss because his ego is so wounded. He knows not how he is destroying his life, in the garb of revenge.
We can see Charu totally lost and scared when she becomes the victim of cyber bullying. Hari and Mani’s lives turn topsy-turvy when they fall into the trap that was laid for someone else.
The book shows how problems can scare and wound us from time to time, but it is totally up to us whether we want to fight or want to quit. It also highlights the casual and carefree way that youngsters live their lives, which lands them in serious problems. It shows how we should not misuse Facebook to show our anger on someone and how it can bring us trouble.
Depression is lack of expression
Depression leads to suicide, in most cases. A person who commits suicide is often depressed for a long period of time. It is when the depression reaches to a very high state that the person feels suicidal. In the book “The Story of a suicide”, we see two suicide cases; the root cause of both of them is depression since a long time.
Depression is nothing but lack of expression. When a person is hurt, lonely or afraid, he needs to express that feeling either by confiding in a close person or through creativity. If a person suppresses feelings of hurt, anger, loneliness, fear and resentment for months and years, it will take the shape of depression which is a serious malady.
We can see how Hari, one of the characters of the book suppresses all his feelings of hurt, loneliness and resentment from childhood. We see the same thing with Mani.
Problems will always be there in life. Heartbreaks and tragedies will occur from time to time. The only way to cope with it is through expressing our feelings, not by suppressing them.
My advice to all those people who are dealing with a painful phase in life right now is that please express your feelings somehow. Talk to your parent. Cry in front of them. Confide in a sister or a close friend.
If you feel no one will understand your anguish and problems, take refuge in creativity. Write what you feel. Paint and draw. Just try to take those feelings of hurt and resentment out of your system.
After every storm, there is a sunshine waiting for you. And if you manage to survive the storm, you will be a much better, stronger and wiser person. Don’t give up on life. Everything is temporary. Everything passes away. Suicide is never a solution!
Note: All the illustrations are sourced from the website of The Story of a Suicide