What is my mistake in this? I try to be good and kind to everyone, then why do some people hurt me so badly? Why is my heart injured and broken for literally no fault of mine? And this is not the first time...it keeps happening again and again. How can some people be so cruel and selfish?
As she felt lost within the tangled web of questions, her eyes fell on the mirror. She hated the sight. Red, swollen eyes. Runny nose. Dark lines under her eyes. Messy tresses drenched with tears.
She wiped her tears and looked into the mirror again. She grabbed a rubber hand and tied her hair. Now the sight did not disturb her as much as it did a few minutes back. She touched the dark circles that were accumulated due to loss of sleep for almost a week. Her eyes looked tired due to severe crying. There were marks of nails on her cheeks that she inflicted on herself. When the pain in her heart became too excessive for her to tame, she tried to cause physical pain to herself, in vain.
What have I done to myself? Here, I am crying because some people I loved, have deeply wounded me. But was I kind to myself?
The more she looked at her in the mirror, the more she realized how cruel she had been to herself, for no fault of hers. She took some face wash in her hand and washed her face thoroughly. Instead of sitting on the cold floor, she went to her bed. She covered herself with the blanket and took a deep sigh.
I can't control people's behavior towards me. Some people can be cruel and selfish. Some people can be insensitive or manipulative. But I promise that from this moment on, I won't be cruel to myself. From this moment on, I won't inflict myself with pain and conflict. From this moment on, it is my first responsibility to take care of myself so that I can battle with the wounds given to me by others. From this moment on, I will treat myself with kindness, care, forgiveness, compassion and love. I will be there for myself as a friend, always.
P.S. Especially wrote this post because one of my close friends is going through a bad phase. I hope the message reaches out to her and she gets encouraged to love herself with all she has.