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Friday, 11 September 2015

The poisonous FRUIT of GRUDGE!

Yesterday, I came across a short poem written by William Blake. It goes like this:


I was angry with my friend;
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe;
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
And I watered it in fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles.
And with soft deceitful wiles.
And it grew both day and night.
Till it bore an apple bright."

So, this is how the poisonous fruit of grudge grows. The truth is that everyone in our life, no matter how close he or she is, would hurt us and let us down, someday or the other. No one can meet our expectations to keep us happy, every single time. It is really impossible. 

Sometimes, you might feel that you are terribly wronged by the person you thought would never hurt you. Thus, a small seed of grudge against the person would erupt in your heart. You would find yourself complaining again and again, "How could he/she do this to me?"

This kind of thing has happened between me and my close friends countless times. The thing that has saved our friendship, each time is that I have directly talked to my friends about the things which has hurt me. I have not let the grudge grow in my heart, by watering it with tears and nourishing it with anger.

I have noticed that after I tell my friend how much his or her actions have hurt me, my friend is also able to point out where I was wrong and where I had also caused pain. Thus, the tiny seed of grudge dies that very moment we talk about it with each other. 

Honesty and forgiveness smash the seed of grudge totally and saves a long-term friendship from a bitter misunderstanding.

If we really care for a person and if we know deep down in our heart that the person also cares for us, we should never tame grudges in our heart. We should rather talk about it openly with the person concerned and resolve the conflict. 

Else, just like in the poem of William Blake, the wrath would grow and grow until it bears the poisonous fruit of grudge (bright apple) in our heart, destroying the closest relationships that we have formed in our lives.

We should always value our relationships more than the seed of grudge that has newly erupted in our heart.

What do you think?


50 comments:

  1. This is so true dear! The way you have expressed the unsaid reality of life is so invigorating. There is a big lesson to be learnt from this post that we should never allow grudges to crop up between our loved ones and us, instead, share with them what is troubling us no matter how bitter it is. Beautifully explained dear, hugs! :)

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    1. Thank you so much dear. Your comments make me really happy. I have seen a lot of people who hold grudges uselessly in their mind and then one day, they just explode with anger. I feel that it robs us off peace.

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  2. Very thought provoking post Purba..Grudge leads to retaliation to revenge and thus the cycle of wrath comes a full circle..

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    1. Truly said! Thank you so much. Glad to see you here :)

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  3. Really !!! This actually happens in everyones life.....nice post.

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  4. Nice post Purba. Grudge erodes not only relationships but internal peace as well.

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    1. Exactly. It erodes the inner peace. Thanks dear :)

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  5. What an insightful piece of writing, yet again!
    I always believe in speaking what hurts me right there instead of keeping it in heart. Sometimes we misunderstand people and sometimes the other person doesn't realize the point that might hurt.

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    1. That is how it should be, Simran. If the person matters to us, we should just tell him/her what has caused hurt. Else as you said, the misunderstandings just grow with every passing day.
      Thanks dear :)

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  6. True, Purba. We shouldn't let a silly grudge destroy a relationship.
    Btw, we had this poem in moral science. One of my favourite poem.

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    1. That's lovely, Kiran. I loved the poem.
      Thank you :)

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  7. Grudge is a time bomb in case of friendship, if it is fuelled_ it explodes causing a brutal damage to the friendship. Discussion saves it all. Very nice post Purba :):)

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    1. I totally agree with you, Prasanna. Thanks :)

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  8. I always tell people who ask for my advice that accept the fact you’ll hold nearly every attitude at some time, even towards the people closest to you and they also do the same. Open-heart communication is the only way to resolve issues in relation. And never repress your feeling, thinking that the person may hurt. It’ll affect your relation in long term.

    I remember someone said: “More I try to make our life happy and easy by repressing my feelings, more I fail miserably. It just doesn’t go away. My emotional disk save everything and burst open as soon as the bottle of frustration gets full. It is bringing out the worst from me.”

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    1. It was great to know about your views, Ravish. You are so right. Repressing the feeling hampers the relationship in the long run. It's wise to communicate with the person and also have the patience to listen to him or her.

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  9. Well-thought out Purba.....grudge like all negative feelings cause harm.....To have a good lasting relationship, honesty is a must. Lovely poem by Blake, one of my favorite poet....:)

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  10. Absolutely poisonous... I've realised it's always better to talk it out than keep a grudge...
    not only is it self-defeating but it starts affecting your health too...
    Great red sweetie :-)

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    1. So true, Archana. It really affects the health and mental peace. Thank you dearie :)

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  11. This is very much true! Forgiveness is a real necessity :)

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  12. So have explained this complicated reality of life so easily Purba :)

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  13. Wonderfully said, Purba. Grudge leads us nowhere....it not only destroys a relationship but also the integrity of a person...

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    1. So true. I wish people understand this and try to be more open with their closed ones.
      Thanks dear :)

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  14. So thoughtful and so true! Great creation, Purba:)

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  15. A very valid one Purba, the burden of the poisonous fruit. I was reflecting on this a few days ago and was wondering what makes this grow, and how do we grow along with it so that these grudges or the things that go away from our expectations and how we could deal with it better. A much needed shot in the arm :)

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    1. Thank you so much, Vinay for the wonderful comment. The fruit of grudge is really poisonous. It erodes our mental peace completely.

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  16. So well told in a simple manner. Great lesson here.

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  17. "Honesty and forgiveness smash the seed of grudge totally and saves a long-term friendship from a bitter misunderstanding." I totally agree with you on this, Purba. :)

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  18. Rightly said. The way to avoid conflicts is to talk (and more of that, if required)...if you stop talking, the consequences can be unpleasant, spoiling your relationship with the other person further.

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    1. Exactly. Thanks for the wonderful comment, Alok.
      There is no such problem that cannot be solved with an open minded communication. Taming grudges is really harmful.

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  19. I can forgive but can't forget....and i so agree that if the conversation is clear there is now way for arguments and misunderstandings. Nice post :)

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    1. I totally agree with you, Shweta. Thanks dear :)

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  20. Very true!..Great piece of creative writing!

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  21. I agree with you Purba. I do that with my friends too and have few but very loyal friends. Because sometimes the other person seems not to care about you as much as you do. And its no use expressing your disappointment to such people. Better to move on! Saying this from one of my personal experience when my pleas went to deaf ears!

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    1. Same here, Roohi. I am happy to have a few friends whom I can count on.
      Yes, it's absolutely true that sometimes our pleas go to deaf ears. Happened with me also. It just means that we don't matter to that person as much he/she matters to us. In such cases, we should just ignore it and move on :)

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  22. True words expressed beautifully, Purba. Grudges are like poison, destroys everything it holds.

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  23. First of all, thank you for sharing that really nice poem with us.
    Talking out things is the best. It almost always fixes the situation.

    The problem is when we and the other person concerned are on totally different pages and cannot meet in the middle. Maybe it's better to just let things be and try to move on, no? (even if a little bit of the grudge remains? )

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    1. I agree with you, Divya. If the 2 individuals are on complete different pages, then it's best to move on. To resolve a grudge, the two people must have the will to resolve it.
      And sometimes, things remain unheard and unsaid because of situations which are beyond our control.

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