(Picture source: http://greatindian.timesofindia.com/)
Interviewer: Tell us, how are you feeling today to be called “The Great Indian Litterbug”?
TGIL: I never wanted to be ordinary, you know. I always wanted to grab all the attention of the world. And today when I see the country knows me by the name The Great Indian Litterbug, I feel so proud of myself and for all my deeds.
Interviewer: How did you embark on this journey, Mr. TGIL?
TGIL: Well, where should I start from? Hmm…let me start with my school days. Mom used to give me bread and bananas for lunch break and I got an uncanny happiness in throwing the banana skins all over the classroom, escaping everyone’s eyes. Some days my classmates used to slip on the banana skins and some other days the teachers used to have a great fall. I used to laugh my heart out and started understanding the fun of littering.
Interviewer: That was an amusing incident. Well, any memories of college days, Mr. TGIL?
TGIL: Ah! Yes. There are plenty of them. I became a Romeo in my college days and used to scribble the names of my love interest in the bathroom walls, in the classroom desks and the classroom walls. Later, I also started writing lyrics of Bollywood songs wherever I noticed a clean white wall. You see, I made so many women smile by this action. I feel so proud.
Interviewer: Do you have anything to say about the Swachh Bharat Campaign?
TGIL: It is a funny campaign. I think in this selfie era, people want to take a selfie with the broom and so they have named this selfie-taking campaign the Swachh Bharat Campaign.
Interviewer: So, you don’t take this campaign seriously?
TGIL: Are you serious? If people think that great fellows like me will stop urinating on walls or stop spitting on roads, then they need a psychiatrist for sure. How can we afford to destroy our talent just like that? This took so many years of perfection and now they want us to adopt cleanliness.
Interviewer: How tough is the competition to be the best Indian litterbug?
TGIL: You won’t believe how intense the competition is in every city. Every city wants to produce the best Indian litterbug. I am so happy that I could make my city proud by achieving the title of The Great Indian Litterbug.
Interviewer: Congratulations! What were the special things that you did to achieve this prestigious title?
TGIL: See, I made sure to empty my bladder in the road every time. Even when I was lazing in my home and the pressure started building on my bladder, I walked outside and urinated in the open. The fun obtained in urinating in the open air is incredible. Then, I threw the garbage of my home in the open road everyday so that the street dogs could play with something and the crows could peck at something. (See! I am so charitable!) Apart from this, I also did with true devotion all the general stuff that the other litterbugs do like throwing away fruit skins, water bottles and wrappers on the road.
Interviewer: You will be providing a great challenge to the Swachh India Campaign. We would be waiting to see who wins in the race.
TGIL: Do you have a doubt? Of course, I and my fellow followers will.
P.S. This post is my humorous take on The Great Indian Litterbug.
It is written for #TheGreatIndianLitterbug campaign of Times of India in association with Indiblogger.
You can find out more about The Great Indian Litterbug here: http://greatindian.timesofindia.com/.